When Coco asked me to write a post about “what being a woman means to me” I looked at her with a blank stare and said “you’re joking, right?” She wasn’t.
It’s not because I didn’t want to share my thoughts, but because she was asking me at a time where I felt the least like a woman. I was exhausted and didn’t feel the least bit sexy or pretty. But when the hell did feeling pretty ever mean you did, or did not feel like a woman? I was disappointed in myself for even thinking that. Shame crept over me, and then clarity:
To me, being a woman is a continuous journey. It means being kind and fair, but not weak. Any crack in my spirit only makes room for compassion and allows me to grow even stronger. It’s taking all my heartbreaks, whether small or seemingly catastrophic, and making them an opportunity become better, not bitter. It’s being confident in my ability to recognize my insecurities, and not being afraid to ask for help or directions. It’s understanding that happiness comes from within and I don’t necessarily need to be in a relationship or have children to feel whole. It’s knowing my brain and the heart are connected, but sometimes shouldn’t be.
It’s learning how to say no and refusing to accept anything less than what I deserve.
As a woman, I have learned to be able to recognize almost everyone’s point of view even when I don’t agree with it. I have learned to identify my own range of emotions but also understand it shouldn’t control my mind or actions.
I believe us women love without reason but have an innate sixth sense. We are trustworthy, giving, and unrelenting in our passion. We have vision, hopes and dreams and are not afraid to share them. We fail forward and take responsibility. We try to be everything to everyone, to a fault. And then one day we realize that self-love is the best thing we can do for everyone around us.
I once read something that resonated so much, I keep it in my notes all the time:
We have wise, wild hearts that can fiercely love or can leave.
And wild, wise voices that can soothe or can roar.
And when we join together, there no silencing the roar.
We rock, raise and nurture.
We teach, lead and conquer.
We feel, we heal, we experience deeply.
We create, we impact, we are powerful beyond measure.
As a woman, I feel it’s our duty to stand together and help each other rise. There are enough women in leadership to make a solid dent in the disparity between male and female and if we align, there’s no stopping us.
As a woman, I feel it is an honour to continue paving the way for others. I feel empowered without limits. I have the freedom to share my thoughts, speak my truth, lead a team of women and run two companies. I provide for myself and for others. I have lawyers, accountants and even a housekeeper.
Being a woman is complicated. I believe a cis man could never do it. I also believe I can do anything a cis man can, minus the physiological stuff.
I feel grateful that I was born female, and proud that I can call myself a woman. I’m absolutely sure I wouldn’t want to be anything else.