We’ve all been there…. when the relationship we thought would last forever comes to an end and leaves us devastated. Heartache is quickly followed by sleepless nights, Sex and the City marathons, tubs of ice cream, and boxes of tissue. But in a twisted turn of fate, eventually we pick up the pieces and (hopefully) move forward with our heads held higher. This is the case for 5 of our Coco & Cowe readers who have gladly accepted the opportunity to share their biggest lessons in love and heartache. Feel free to add what love has taught you in the comment section below!
Robyn Baldwin, 31, says, “Experiences are never a waste of time.”
In the midst of heartbreak it is so easy to go into dark thoughts of having just wasted days, months or years of your life in a situation that ended poorly/badly/horribly. What I’ve learned after having my heart broken was that I was supposed to go through that chapter in my story for a “bigger” reason. I was supposed to go through that experience to grow, to learn and to become who I am today. I wouldn’t be a stronger woman who is more aware of what I give in a relationship or what a healthy relationship should look like if I hadn’t gone through a difficult one. I am grateful for my experience. It was not a waste of time but a lesson I was meant to learn.
Makeba Lindsay says, 26, “Self doubt & allowing yourself to think you are not good enough is poison.”
I’m the type of person that’s ALWAYS thinking about something, my mind is always racing and thinking about all these different ideas etc but with all these great thoughts and ambitions, there comes negative voices. The biggest lesson I have learned is that: self doubt and allowing yourself to think you are not good enough is poison. It will destroy every aspect of your life (You’ll never follow your dreams, you’ll allow yourself to be in toxic relationships, and much more) I try to remember that when I “fail” it’s a stepping stone, get back up and use it! Know that you are worth it and that with; love, hard work, perseverance and faith you CAN and WILL do anything.
Janeen, 26, says, “Your true happiness is what matters the most.”
After envisioning my future with one person, Who would’ve ever thought I would be single after being in a relationship for six years? Although, I knew this time was coming, my heart was broken. I felt as though my world was over and nothing else mattered. Rather than facing the music, I did the inevitable and booked a trip to a destination, I knew nothing about. I needed time to re-evaluate my life and the person I had become rather than the person I wanted to be. After spending a few days alone, I realized I had learned a valuable lesson from this relationship. YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS IS WHAT MATTERS THE MOST. Being alone, I was able to realize I was angry rather than happy, majority of my last relationship. There were times when I allowed certain circumstances to occur which I knew should not have but rather than walking away, I let it slide. I was unhappy for the longest time but I believed being together was better than being alone. I couldn’t see myself without this man as this was all I had known for a long time. I had finally realized, it is possible to create my own happiness. Don’t settle with one person because you’re scared there is no one else out there for you. There are many men waiting to capture your big heart and turn you into the happiest woman alive. He’s out there and when the time is right, he’ll appear. As for now, work on becoming your best for Mr. Right.
Maryam Toson, 26, says “If you love yourself you will not let anyone bring you down.”
One of the biggest lessons I learned during a heartbreak is the true meaning of the infamous saying “love yourself before you love someone else”. I always thought it was a saying that means you love yourself in order to know how to love someone. But I truly understood the meaning that if you love yourself you will not let anyone bring you down by destroying you emotionally or physically. That you will love yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t benefit you. On the other hand you will also know how difficult it is to love yourself at times and appreciate someone who does.
Sherlyn Torres, says “Time heals all wounds.”
I consider myself pretty blessed when it comes to the love category. I’m happy & grateful to still be with my one true love ❤. I’ve only had my heart broken once in the early months of our relationship ~ Back then, it seemed like the hardest thing I could ever deal with. Everything seems astronomical when you’re young, especially when it had anything to do with love… What I learned from that short stint of heartbreak was a typical line but rang true ~ time heals all wounds. Another important lesson was not to give up on Love. If you feel deep down that there’s something special that must be salvaged, it’s worth giving the person a second chance at making things right. He made a promise to be committed and has never wavered since.
Peace & Love,
Card image by Mardy Mabel