This year, as it continues to feel very much like last year, I made a pact with myself to work on something that I find particularly impossible; self love. Listen, don’t get me wrong, I love myself, I have just found the older I get and the more accomplished I become (I had a hard time typing out accomplished), the more I continue to squirm at everything from a compliment to a moment of rest – must. always. be. proving. worth. Because not much has changed from last year and because I continue to feel pushed out of control from what feels like a lack of freedom, I am working on going inward to find more of what I need.
They say everything you need is already in you, and I have decided to put that thought to the test, and I hope you do too. With Valentines upon us and the chaos that surrounds us, I want us to work on digging deeper into ourselves, to believe that we deserve our flowers while we’re here and that any achievement is worth, if not celebration, at least acknowledgement.
Self love as it’s defined is:
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
So this all sounds amazing and I really want to get loving myself a bit more but if you’re at all like me, you need some practical and tactical steps that you can take to kick start this internal loving vibe and no, it can’t begin and end with hugging yourself cuz that would just be weird. This month let’s start small and pick at least a few things a day we can do for ourselves that will help foster the love from within.
- when you want to say something negative about yourself, replace it with a positive
- set a boundary, even if it scares you
- create an affirmation that works for you and repeat it to yourself daily
- write down something you’re grateful for that came about because of your efforts
- replace a negative habit with a positive one
- forgive yourself for something
- take a compliment and really believe it
- do something that is just for you and enjoy it without stress or worry
- take some time away from your screen
I’ve already begun and just doing a little bit every day has been transformative. I don’t win every day but I do find that when I have more love for myself I’m able to show up more positively and take up more space whether it be on a Zoom or in a contract negotiation. Breaking down old feelings of unworthiness or self-hate can be hard to tackle, but whatever stage you are in your life it’s better to start now than never.
Sending you all of the love!