conversations with coco

CWC + Friends: Trio Episode | What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

We’ve been chatting about recording today’s episode for some time and finally, we did the damn thing. It’s interesting because IYKYK, within your first few sessions of therapy, your therapist will challenge you to speak to your younger self or inner child because your approach will be much more gentle and understanding as opposed to the state of mind that you had at that time.

In 2015, I wrote this blog post, 21 Things I Wish I Knew at 21  and I can’t even lie, there are some gems in that blog post written almost 7 years ago. Flash forward to today’s episode, I share how my perspective has shifted as I’ve gotten older about how I want to live life and protect my peace, my thoughts around overnight success, the value in failing and bouncing back after taking L after L.

I also reference Princeton Professor, Johannes Haushofer’s failure resume. This idea that reminding yourself why failures are such an important part of eventually succeeding and creating a visible record of failures is a powerful way to help other people deal with their own shortcomings. “Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible,” Haushofer writes. “I have noticed that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me. As a result, they are more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic, applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days.” (Washington Post: Why It Feels So Good To Read About This Princeton Professor’s Failures). THIS study has stuck with me since I discovered it and I encourage you to even go ahead and write out your very own failure resume. It’s so important to acknowledge the process, between obstacles, low points and crossing the finish line.

Cleo and Pilar share realizations when growing up, what success looks like to them and how comparison is the thief of joy but there’s only one you, so you have to remind yourself even when your POV is feeling unaligned.

6 of our favourite word vomits from this episode are:

  • Learn the lessons. You’re going to be faced with a lot of adversity in your life and you can get bitter or you can get better… So, I think one thing I had to learn quickly was to learn the lesson rather than to just live in the pain. There’s going to be moments where you’re fully allowed to live in the pain, so don’t push it down and don’t hide it and pretend it isn’t happening.
  • Everybody wants to be successful, super fast. But learning to listen gives you the breadth and knowledge that will pay dividends over and over as you get older. 
  • The world isn’t prepared for you to change your mind, right? Because you told people you were going to do this. Who are you again? A lot of people will let people in their life control their life. And that sucks. 
  • The reality is, is that we kind of dust over all the shit that happens because people want to know in a concise Forbes interview how did you get to where you are. 
  • So that’s the perfect example. Like you go into something thinking you don’t want it and then it finds a way to work for you. Again, openness, you have to be open.
  • Whatever religion you believe in, you only really have this life right now. Even if you’re reincarnated, even if you live in heaven, this right now, this one life that we’re living, we can’t repeat this section of it. So, if we live that way, then what would we do differently to ensure that we live to our max capacity? And that doesn’t mean like balls to the wall all the time, you know? It means curling up with a book sometimes because that brings you joy. 

Another reminder:

You’ll have to click here to listen now and learn the rest. It is our hope that this episode makes you feel seen, heard and related to because everyone is going through their own struggle at their own pace, Cowes!

Don’t forget to rate this podcast 5-stars on Apple and follow us on Spotify. Cowes, now I have to turn the question around on you, what would you tell your younger self? Let us know in the comment section below or by tagging me here. 

xx

Coco

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