conversations with coco

CWC + Friends: A Conversation With “Dez” About His “Unconventional” Relationship aka “Open Relationship” With His Partner of 36 Years

In this week’s episode of CWC + Friends, we spoke with “Dez”, a Jamaican-Canadian (who remains anon), whose ethically non-monogamous or as some people call it “monogamish” relationship just celebrated its 36 year anniversary. 

With many of the previous generations’ divorce rates providing ample insights to the newer generations’ eligible singles, there have been lots of discussions around the future of monogamy and some interesting relationship alternatives that we needed to know more about before tackling the modern dating landscape.

For reference:

Polyamory: Relationship with multiple partners
Solo-poly: Dating oneself
Swinging: Couples who allow partners to have sex with other couples
Ethical-Non-Monogamy (Monogamish): Primarily exclusive relationship occasionally includes dating others
Polyfidelity: Closed group usually including 3 or 4 partners
Relationship Anarchy: Relationship with no rules or similarities to traditional monogamy 

So really, how many marriages stand the test of time? Today, many relationships are advertised as monogamous while under the guise of clandestine. Anyone who has ever been cheated on including Beyoncé has definitely thought – is monogamy for me? 

Dez spoke candidly about his relationship with his partner Jess, struggles around family acceptance, raising children together and how his culture and upbringing were deeply rooted in his decision to have an ethically non-monogamous relationship. 

We made sure to get you all the ☕️; we asked Dez how he brought up a conversation around ethical non-monogamy to his partner – especially in a time where these conversations were far less prevalent. We wanted to know if he had ever worried about losing his partner’s love or having her change her mind about their monogamish relationship status. You’ll have to click here to listen now to find out how Dez responded to this. 

Talking to Dez was an opportunity to better understand the successes and in-depth perspectives of someone living an ethically non-monogamous lifestyle because we all know the stigmas surrounding non-monogamy which basically imply that non-monogamous people want to have their cake and eat it too. This thinking perpetuates negative stigmas that may cause people who are curious or want to explore this lifestyle to end up in relationships that are not best suited to them. 

Dez’s advice is, to be honest with yourself and honest with your partner. 

Make sure to have a listen and be a part of this intimate and insightful conversation. 

Don’t forget to rate this podcast 5-stars on Apple and follow us on Spotify. If you have a topic idea or guest suggestion, leave a comment down below or tag us here. We appreciate you and we are excited to continue this conversation during #SexualHealthAwarenessMonth. 


The Cowe


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